regarding the transportation complication

Having recently given birth to our fifth child, we field many "how do you manage it?"-type questions. Sometimes people will ask us what the hardest part about having 5 kids. That is what this post is about.


If we've been to your house, chances are we rolled up in this:






This has been our primary mode of transportation for about 6 years. This 2003 Honda Odyssey is [finally] paid for and we have enjoyed the vast majority of the just under 70k it shows on the odometer. It suited our family of four very well.

Family of five? Not so much.

And for a very simple reason.







Our government requires kids to be in a car seat of some sort until they are just shy of their 19th birthday. This is fine if you have only a few kids or even a lot of kids far apart. It's also fine if you own an 11 passenger van.

I like our minivan. And though I think someones going to come take away my man-card for saying that, I'm not ready to part with it yet.

But those car seats make for quite a tight fit.





Tight but it works.

But the "fit" is only the beginning of the problem. Let's remind you of who sits in the back of this van.

First we have Justus. This whole problem is pretty much on him.





Ava is also a significant contributor to the problem due to the girth of the car seat that her undersized frame requires.







Ethan is sort of in between a full booster seat and the kind without a back. At least he can use a normal seat belt. And even buckle it himself. Except for the times when he can't.





Luke is on the cusp of being tall enough to ditch the booster, but since he's only 6 the law says he's got to be in it. Now, we consider ourselves to be upstanding, law-abiding citizens, but considering that I rode on the center "hump" between the front and back seats in my mom's Ford Pinto all through my childhood (and survived) we'd be okay with letting Luke slide a bit on the booster.

He'll have none of that. Not even for a trip to the store.





Aidan is an adult in the eyes of the law when it comes to seat belts. This is a good thing. But he still adds in a fair amount of complication to the seating chart.








In case you're not up to speed on the form of car seat required for children of various ages, here is a handy reference.

Later on, you can cut out these pictures and use them as game pieces to help solve the minivan conundrum. But I'm getting head of myself. You first need to understand the rules to such a game.



First remember, it's cramped in there.

You can hopefully imagine that only certain combinations of seats will fit together. For instance, there's no way you're putting 3 of our seats across the back. One is fine. Two can work, but having two crammed in there makes it difficult for everyone back there to be able to buckle themselves in. Remember, we need to fit, but we also want to maximize efficiency. It already takes us a minimum of a half hour to get out of the house. We need to save every minute.

Of course there are other complications as well.

Though almost irresistibly cute, this pairing does not work in the car. Justus' seat really does not fit in the way-back seat. This means that the person who sits next to Justus not only needs to be capable of handling his binky and adjusting the baby-view mirror but must also be able to handle passing food, water and other things to the back row. So this combo is out.

For largely the same reason as above, this combo doesn't work so well. Ebo is just a little bit too unpredictable to be Justus' car-bound chaperon. And when he passes things back, they spill at least a third of the time. This is a great ratio of you're hitting baseballs, but not so much if you are trying to keep our van clean.

This pairing has relational challenges. Physically it works fine. When they are together in the back you have to be careful that Ebo can still do his own seat belt. It really sets him off when he can't do it. But even after the logistics, these two are just a little to good at pushing each others' buttons. Sure, we could be all-star parents and employ smart, calm and consistent discipline to solve this problem but executing such a philosophy is difficult at 65 miles per hour. We'd rather nip this one in the bud via strategic seating assignments.

These two get along great. No issues there. They require no booster and the smallest booster seat, so space is not an issue. But they need to be separated. They are our two best players and we need them on separate teams. One needs to be in back, one in front. Aidan does great riding next to Justus, but we listen to a lot of audiobooks and the sound is better in the way back. When we put Aidan in that middle row, the chorus of "please turn it up" requests drones on unceasingly. So him in the way back is better.

So are you getting how complicated this is? It reminds me of one of those logic puzzles where you have to figure out when all these guys can go to the doctor, but Joe can only go on Tuesday or Thursday but only after Jim goes and Jeff has to go between when Joe and Jim goes, etc...

No one tells you about this kind of thing when you are pregnant with your 5th child. But I wanted to put it out there. I think we've more or less figured it out, but our arrangement is far from perfect. I figure time will eventually sort this all out.