2009 Pinewood Derby

I vividly remember making my own pinewood derby car. Even though my mom was pretty handy around the shop, growing up without a dad put me at quite a disadvantage. But I didn't know that. I recall filing a grove in the hood of my car with something that I'm pretty sure was supposed to be a metal file. I carefully painted it (black of course) and even more carefully wrote the words "Ninja III" on the side (I was into ninjas as the time). To me it was a thing of beauty. When I finished it, I didn't think there could possibly be any car that looked better or ran faster. I mentally rehearsed getting the first place trophy. I knew there was no way I could lose.



Needless to say things didn't go down as I planned. Once I got to the derby, I saw an assortment of modified cars that left me dumbfounded. What's this thing about a weight limit? You mean you should add weight to the car? I was pretty outclassed. I finished near the bottom in speed and took home a ribbon or trophy that said "Snazziest" (seriously)--only because this was back when everyone had to win something.



Fast forward twenty-some years. Now it's not my pinewood derby car, but Aidan and Luke's car. Unfortunately, I'm probably only about 13% more competent with hand tools than I was when I built my own pinewood derby car. To this day I have never changed the oil in my car (and I have no plans to... don't get me started).



But I am pretty good at the Internet.



Who'd have known that there are pages and pages of tips on how to build fast pinewood derby cars. I printed off about 15 pages of stuff and after reading it myself, I handed it to Aidan and said, "after you read through this, we'll get started on your car." He read it that night.



At breakfast the next morning I quizzed him to see what he'd retained. He was on track. He knew the key was to reduce all sources of friction and to get the car to track as straight as possible. He knew that you'd need to add weight to get the car right up to the 5 oz limit.



We began construction on two cars. One for him and an "outlaw" car for Luke. Luke's not quite old enough to officially race, but we built him a car too. They started by drawing their designs on paper. After addressing a few impracticalities, we got to cutting.



It's pretty serious business.







Through much toil (a solid Saturday and a half), we came up with a couple nice cars.



Aidan had the "Gold Racer".









Luke made a tank.

I'll be honest that even though I tried to involve the boys as much as possible, I was feeling a little bit concerned that I had helped too much. Turning a 6 year old lose with a dremel was scary, but should I have let him shape the lead too? Isn't lead dangerous?

Once I arrived at the race and took a gander at the other cars, all my guilt was washed clean away. I then realized... this is as much a contest for Dad as it is for kids. Some athletic dads live vicariously through their kids' sporting endeavors. Us nerdy dads atone for childhood failures by engineering a pine wood masterpiece. Some of these cars were amazing.

The "Outlaws" looked pretty good too. Before the races, all the scouts and outlaws got to vote on which cars they liked the best. Neither of our boys voted for their own cars, which is remarkable considering they possess my DNA.

After all the cars were checked in and tested for illegal performance-enhancing modification (seriously), the first race was set to begin.

Tensions were high. Would our plans work?

We got second in our first race. Not too bad. We weren't the worst car.

In fact we got second a lot.

Look at that white car beating us to the line by less than a centimeter. We will have our revenge. Somebody check that car for PEDs!

Ah, the sweet taste of redemption as we pull out yet another second place finish, this time by beating that white car in a photo finish.

Oh come on! Sabotage! Foul play! Someone didn't want us to win and placed our car on the track backwards, dropping us to third place in this race.

But it looks like that black car truly was the better car this day. Even facing the right way we could not overcome her.

Luke enjoyed the races, patiently waiting his turn to run with the outlaws.

Unfortunately, the tank was really slow. I mean really slow. It got last every time. But that's okay. Luke's artistic expression was rewarded. The outlaws voted him the best of the bunch!! Who would have thought that a bunch of 6 year old boys would have deemed a tank to be coolest car?

Aidan's car finished 10th. I call that a top ten finish. It was fun making the cars and talking about the physics involved in making the cars go fast. The creation process was definitely the highlight for me and I think the boys really liked working with the power tools. We'll be back next year with three cars: Ebo will take his turn as an outlaw as Luke gets to run in the official races.

I'm thinking we may work for two and a half Saturdays next year. The competition doesn't stand a chance.